Name: Koh Ying kai
School: Nanyang Polytechnic *Biomedical Engineering*
Class: BME0702
Hobbies: Breakdancing, Drumming
Birthday: 28th January 1989
About me: Just a happy go lucky person awaiting to make friends with you!
Rainbow within the rain link to my home.



M2U
Blythe



1. Be a better b-boy and drummer
2. More Friends ( they can never be enough)
3. Books
4. New Mobile Phone
5. A drum set
6. Drumming
7. Breakdancing
8. Wish to watch the sunset. (Never did with anyone though =( [i'll watch it with you =) ])
9. Create a band.
10.Find someone to share troubles with. (Found? Me? No?)
11. Get through my diploma with flying colours.





Gillian
My other blog
Breakdancing
Imperian
Gillian Lim (Overseas Friend! ^^)
Gayle
Irfan.
Gladys.
Shima.
Fiona.
Jan.
Wendy.



September 2005
October 2005
February 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
May 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
May 2008
June 2008
September 2008
June 2009



Designer: Ying Kai
Code base: Ebullient*
Flash: ~thehermitdesign

Its been a long time hasen't it everyone.
To everyone, this might be just a single day update. I might not be posting again for maybe a long time again. But to those who sees this new post.
I warmly welcome you back.

June 11th 2009

Projects has been really stressful for me. I cannot get my design and ideas out. Time is running out and help is nowhere to be found. Not many people know about it. Its has come to a point where im about to break down. I seriously need to clear my head and find comfort. I need to talk and share how i feel.
My leg has recently been scalded with hot water, i was too careless. And the wound has been reopening quite often. When i walk its so painful that i have to grit my teeth. Cleaning the house and washing the clothes hurts the wound. Its been really lonely, for the past few weeks. No one has been at home since they went overseas but i cannot due to my exams.
Everytime i go back home from school for the past week. I face an empty dark house, quiet. Its like going back to the period when i last failed my o levels for maths. I feel nothing but emptiness inside me. People at school inquire, "why does your face look so sad?" For the record i don't know why.
Yes, Ying kai the crazy and happy guy has disappeared at least for the period of time. Why am i sharing this? I need a portal to vent it. Sometimes people do. No one knows about it though. but to those who read this, now you know.
But of course, there is always, in life no matter what happens a big picture and the small picture. I constantly remind myself before i settle down into bed that i have to focus on the big picture. "You lose the battle, to win the war" that has been always part of my philosophy. Listening to radio through the night and falling asleep only when it strikes 4 - 5 am every day isnt exactly what im cut out to maintain. Im feeling tired and weak now as i type in class during my lab session.
yes my lab class, i dont have the mood to do anything. What has happened to me.
One thing that actually sustained me from going through a complete breakdown is the remenicing of the wonderful times i had with the most wonderful partner i ever had. the times when we slapped each other sily in the train. The screaming i did whilst on the cable car due to my fear of heights.
Everytime, when things just dosent seem right and before i sleep, i look at some messages i saved. Those get me going, those give me hope, and have been ever since.
I cannot appreciate that enough =)
No amount of honeyed words and things bought with money can be enough to express what graditude i have.
Therefore, as they say action speaks louder than anything.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Through the days in the month of June, though we havent met up cus your very busy with your project. I understand. But as the days plow through, I can see stress and emotion building up in you, projects and everything else that you face. *Hugs* Cheer up. I may not be a good speaker over how well i express my words through msn or text and im sure you know very well what im talking about.
But i know that whenever your feeling down, i want to cheer you up as you did to me.
How general this sentence might seem.
How naive can i get? I probably dont understand even half of what your facing and im trying to cheer you up? My god, stupid ying kai. ><
How true. All i can perceive is only through your blog that your feeling down. But yes,to truly understand what your facing, i need you to talk to me and share your troubles with me as i would want to share mine with you. This is the step i have to take. I promised you in the beginning and i will uphold it and i will.
From the my wishes at the side of my blog. ("Found? Me? No?")
Of course, i understand that there might be the chance that you wont want to share. But when you willing to, ill always have my listening ear ready for you and what i have a punching bag for your problems.
If you ever read this, may your day become better. Even if you dont it doesnt matter, before i sleep every night ever since April 2008, i always think in my head and wish that the day that you wake up to will be wonderful.

Its almost 12 pm now. Lessons about to end for me. Today, i hope it will get better for me. Jiayou to the both of us.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

- A will that will never flicker. A hope that will always maintain.

/Hopped!
8:04 PM

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Day 1. 9 more days
Well its been a long day. A very long and really boring day.
It was during this time i realise the importance of having a loved one missed.
At 11:56pm Singapore time. Its been more than 15 hours since i have waited for your sms to reach. during the day i have contacted M1 and i was elated that my mms was activated. I should be able to receive mms. And well smses from Singapore to the US is 15 cents like you said. And all smses received are free.

I miss you.

Damn man that feeling came back to me. I teared when i called you when you were on the way to the airport. I was worried. No kidding. weird eh?
Somehow. I wept slightly till i slept. Some kind of man i am eh? Heh oh well.
As of now my dear, i am listening to the songs that was in my mp3 player when i met you. Those were the songs that i listened to and brings back such memories. The songs which i constantly heard when i walked you back home during those first few days. And the songs i listened when i walked all the way back from serangoon as there wasnt any bus or mrt.

Such memories. Ah... =)

Slowly time will pass. What i did today wasnt anything much. Worked out for 1 hour but i got bored of it. There wasnt much kick to working out. Perhaps i will do better tomorrow. After writing this first entry into the absence of your presense, i will start composing a sms to send to you. Its 12 midnite 04 mins now. Still no message. I will take the initiative and send you the sms. i hope you can receive it.

"Sharing all this different feelings from under the cover"
"Looming moon"

Above are the distinct lyrics from the song im listening now. The band "Secret and Whisper"

I really wonder what i am going to do tomorrow. I will go look out for more bands. Hehe
We ARE SO GOING TO DO MANY THINGS TOGETHER when you come back.

My dear. Absence only makes the heart and love go so much stronger and further.
Its proven by yours truly. =)

Smile dear and enjoy yourself. When you come back. I shall embrace you with new found happiness.


-Yk

- This love shall never flicker.

/Hopped!
8:57 AM

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Hubby, don't worry. I will be back soon. Remember what i say ar. Oh ya, don't anyhow eat ar. Eat less oily and heaty food hor. Sms me before you sleep and when you wake up. Same here, i will do the same too. Love ya. Will miss you lots. Don't worry, i will hug the pillow to sleep. Hee. Muacks. Huggies. See you in 10days time. Remember what i say ar.

/Hopped!
7:51 AM

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I guess that you would not be blogging so i shall blog again on your behalf. It has been 2months since we had been together and you are still as crazy as ever. I enjoyed myself today even though this post was like written on the 12may2008. But i know i enjoyed myself because everytime when i am out with you, i had lots of fun. Ya so, 2months down and still many years ahead to go. Thank you for being there for me when i needed you and i am really thankful that you are by my side. I love you, hubby.

/Hopped!
1:00 AM

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Wahaha, i have hacked into my hubby account yet again to update. He is just too lazy to blog. Or rather should i say no time. Haha. Because most of his time is spend with me. Yeah. So ya, i shall say something to my hubby here.

"Ever since i been out with you, i feel that i have been in a fairytale. A very crazy one. Must be the most crazy one among all. But it was fun being with you. You have done things that others have not done and i must say that you are unique. I am so glad to have found you and lucky enough to have you by my side. Just want to thank you for the times spend so far and the love&care&concern&encouragement you have given me so far. Sorry for making you feel pissed/sad or whatever when i snapped at you when you tried to wake me up from my sleep. Last but not least, I LOVE YOU HUBBY! Let's continue this crazy fairytale all the way."

Okay, i guess that all i want to say now. I shall sleep or my hubby so gonna kill me when he sees this. =X Nights & i miss you. =) So don't kill me. Haha.

/Hopped!
10:35 AM

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I LOVE MY HUBBY!!! *muack*

/Hopped!
9:30 AM

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/Hopped!
6:57 PM

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